The Best Body Scrub

 Flojo’s Easy Detox Tip #4
Body scrubs. The tempting promise of smooth glowing skin. You step into the shower dry, jaded, grubby and flakey. Amidst birdsong and joyously dancing butterflies you close your eyes and feel all your worries and cares float away along with your crocodile hide and crone-like demeanour. You step out with the perfectly revitalised, radiant skin of a ten year old who bathes daily in spring water suspended with pearls, gold dust and the kisses of cherubic water sprites.

Or, more realistically, it probably goes a little something like this:

  1. Get warm and clean in shower before grudgingly turning water off so that your body scrub doesn’t get rinsed off before you’ve even started.
  2. Wrestle with a lid both encrusted with plastic microbeads (en route to soon be mistaken by sealife as tasty morsels, with hideous ramifications to the food chain) and slippery with that grey slime that mysteriously appears on all shower bottles.
  3. Squeeze or scoop out some lurid concoction of fake smelling oily and gritty stuff which you scrub hopefully into your elbows, feet and thighs for a minute before imminent frostbite necessitates turning the shower back on (or is this a UK specific thing?)
  4. After rinsing off most of it (accept now that you will miss a bit which will only become apparent when you towel yourself dry) you crash ungracefully onto the bathmat because your oily feet are now a health hazard.
  5. Moisturise all the bits that aren’t covered with a slick of mineral oil and pick exfoliating beads out from under your fingernails.
  6. Note that your skin feels disappointingly taut and more ruddy than rosy. What happened to the promise of revealed gleamingly nourished layers?
  7. Clean the residue of gritty gunk out of the shower stall or bath.
  8. Consider getting back in the shower to freshen up.
  9. Resolve to chuck that scrub out because your skin doesn’t look or feel any smoother or more toned. And the smell of your scrub clashes with both the body wash and moisturiser you just used. Only, obviously, you don’t chuck it out because it cost you good money. Sigh…

So? What’s the alternative?

Well, you could faff around with any number of lovely sounding homemade recipes involving coffee grounds, sugar or salt. But frankly my dears, I can’t be arsed with that.

So here’s my secret. Drum roll pur-lease…..

A washcloth. 

That’s it! Yes I know there’s also a bar of soap in the photo, but just a couple of cloths does not make for aesthetics. And I figured you might be fooled by the slightly scrubby looking texture of the soap and read the whole post in anticipation of a product recommendation. Which I’m not going to give because today is all about the poor under-appreciated washcloth. Anyway, you can still use soap if you like. Seeing as you’re probably getting washed in the shower at the same time. In fact, if it’s a decent natural soap you can use it on your face and hair too if you like.

I’m getting off task again. A plain ol’ wet washcloth rubbed in gentle circles over your face and body while warm water waterfalls down your back is kind to your skin, your wallet, the world’s precious oceans and your sanity. Try it. Like it. Appreciate the results and repeat. You’re welcome.

Related Posts:

Why I don’t buy toothpaste, cleanser, moisturiser, shampoo or conditioner. 

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5 thoughts on “The Best Body Scrub

  1. So, you mean a normal flannel? Ooo.. I have one of those somewhere. I will try that. I have the scratchy mitts but I rarely use that cos, well, it’s too scratchy and a pain to get into with wet hands 🙂

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  2. I’ve been using just a wet flannel for years, since realising that virtually all products within my price-range made my face burn & go bright red! So much cheaper too, although I’ve probably got about 20 of them. Use liquid castille soap on rest of skin – lovely. Need to find a new moisturiser though I think 🙂

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