I’m hoping that you’ll have totally nailed TAP by now. What? You haven’t been using it..?! Why not? Click on the link and try it out a few times. I’ll wait here while you do that; I’m not too busy today so I’ll just have a coffee while you give it a go…
OK? Done? Then I think you are ready for Positive Affirmation Technique or PAT. It’s a pretty easy way to give your attitude a bit of pizzazz when you might otherwise be feeling a bit lacklustre. And it’s just as easy to do as TAP, in fact, maybe even easier. Let’s give it a try now. I want you to think of two or three words that describe how you want to feel; try a few of these for size if you like:
Abundant, amazing, artistic, attractive, beautiful, blissed-out, brilliant, bubbly, calm, confident, contented, cool, creative, cute, dynamic, elegant, energetic, energised, enthusiastic, exceptional, exciting, extraordinary, fabulous, glowing, gorgeous, handsome, healthy, imaginative, incredible, inspiring, joyful, lively, magnificent, motivated, optimistic, original, passionate, pretty, positive, powerful, radiant, remarkable, resourceful, sexy, shapely, slim, strong, stunning, unique, vibrant, vivacious, wealthy, wonderful…
Choose the ones that really inspire you and don’t hold back. This isn’t the time to set any limitations. Imagine you’re spending the day with a really good friend. You’ve had a glass of wine and now you are helping each other to choose outfits to wear out tonight. Do you encourage each other to get something smart, economical and flattering or do you go for the risqué, eye-catching, slightly-more-expensive-than-you-can-justify ensemble? That’s the attitude you need when you are putting your PAT statement together!
It’s easier than you think to become the person that you think you are. Read that again and ponder for a moment… Here’s a good example: you decide that you are fat (even though your friends tell you that you look great) so you wear shapeless clothes. You look in the mirror and notice how drab you look so you feel miserable. You reach for a bar of chocolate to cheer yourself up and then you repeat this behaviour every day. Sound familiar? Can you see where I am going with this? Now, imagine how that scenario might work differently if you referred to yourself with a positive word or two that conjure up how you would actually like to be and how you would like to be seen.
Start your PAT statement with “I am…” and then stick your chosen words in! You don’t have to believe them right now but you do need to recognise that if you do this exercise at least three times a day not only are you going to start to believe them – other people will too! You might think I’ve lost the plot here but do you remember that I talked about this in this post? Nobody knew that I’d been silently chanting my affirmation non-stop and I certainly hadn’t changed anything else about myself since the previous few days. All I’d done is worked on changing my mindset and my body-language had followed suit. I was happier, and the six random compliments I got only compounded that feeling. Go on, I challenge you. Practice PAT until you truly believe it and let me know how many compliments you get!
I promise you that people aren’t going to laugh at you behind your back, “She thinks she’s so sexy, strong and slim, but she’s not at all!” Nope, that’s not how people think. If people are going to bitch behind your back it’s much more likely to be about whatever you are actually anxious about. If you do the school run thinking, “Why did I wear these jeans? They make me look so fat” your posture will slump and, hey presto they really won’t look that great on you! “Why does she wear those jeans? She looks so drab!” However, if you decide to forget about the jeans and fill your head with, “I am fabulous, shapely and stunning” you’ll find yourself smiling (and maybe strutting a little?!), and people will react to that instead. People’s attitudes towards you are often just a reflection of what you have chosen to think about.
There’s a different pressure point to work on for PAT. Locate it on your left wrist: turn your left palm towards you and then run an imaginary line down from the webbing between your ring and little fingers until you reach your wrist crease. Stick your right thumb in the indentation you find there and apply pressure with a pumping action while you mutter your new statement. You can use the other wrist if you prefer, or even both if you have time.
I suggest you practise PAT with the pressure point three times a day, every day. But, when you’ve settled on the statement you like please don’t hold back with it. Keep that statement firmly in your consciousness as often as you can, but particularly before you go out into the world, whether to work, a social function or even just to the corner shop. You will know when you have found the right words because just saying them out loud will make you stand differently, will make you smile and will make you feel empowered.
Try some of these for size
- To motivate yourself in the morning: I am happy and I am energised!
- When you are in the shower: I am gorgeous! I really am gorgeous! It’s amazing how gorgeous I am! (Well, why not?)
- To get yourself in the right frame of mind for work: I am dynamic, inspiring and powerful!
- When you are nervous about going out for the night: I am sexy, slim and stunning!
- When you are anxious about something: I am calm, creative and cool!
- To make your exercise workout more effective: I am strong! I am energised!
- When life in general is getting you down: I have vibrant health and abundant wealth!
Have fun with finding the combinations of words that make you happy and please tell me what you’ve tried. I’d also be really grateful if you could share this blog on social media or by sending the link to dear friends. I think we could all benefit from seeing more confident, happy people out there!
And wow; you look amazing! You look kinda glowy and taller or something! Have you changed your hair…?